Why we should embrace the death of our former selves
Introduction
I have always viewed death as an extremely negative, harrowing experience that must be avoided at all costs. That was until I realised that my perception of death was so narrow. The physical aspect of death is all we tend to recognise. Losing a family member, close friend, work colleague can be described in no lesser words than painful and gut-wrenching. Therefore, it is hardly surprising that we associate death with such a sense of bleakness, is it?
However, if you take a deeper reflection, this is not the only form of death that we experience. As human beings, whether you accept it or not, we are constantly changing and evolving into new (perhaps even better) versions of ourselves. We are experiencing death, followed by rebirth again and again, as we seek new ways to improve and develop.
This seems like a much less gloomy prospect from the surface (but it is by no means pain-free or comfortable).
The death of my former, passive self…
Around the time when I turned 30 years old, I experienced an epiphany-like realisation. I was not living the life that I wanted to live, but rather living the way I “should” according to societal norms. My choice of life decisions always stemmed from a place of doing the “right thing” and people-pleasing to keep the peace.
As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.
How did I do this? Most significantly, by suppressing my desire for a career in journalism and instead pursuing a profession in a corporate role that did not inspire me. This, I exchanged for two things, financial stability and job security. Of course, these are not criminal reasons for choosing a career, and they are not uncommon ones amongst young people stepping into the world of work. What harm could a decision like this cause, anyway?
The repercussions did not become apparent until several years later when I found myself struggling to make progress in my role (likely because I was just not interested in climbing the corporate ladder). My confidence plummeted and eventually led to my suffering with anxiety every working day, which drained my energy. I felt the “Sunday scaries” like never before.
it truly felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off my chest and I could breathe again
The best way to describe my emotional and mental state is broken and uninspired. This is not surprising on reflection. I had let others talk down to me as if I was not equal to them. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. Well, it is safe to say that I had given them my full permission! In essence, my attitude had become very passive and short-term, wishing my life away for the weekend and holidays.
In hindsight, I should have also paid attention to more of Eleanor’s wise words, such as “It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan” because life was just happening to me at that point. However, I found myself starting to get tired.
The birth of an action-taker
The time was coming to let go of this version of me. Cue, the “leveling up phase”. My rebirth!
I quit my corporate job and it truly felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off my chest and I could breathe again. I decided to use my savings to pursue entrepreneurship as a blogger and creator, rebuilding my confidence again, little by little. I joined a community of like-minded female entrepreneurs who inspired me daily to follow my dreams.
This was by no means a comfortable transition (especially when none of my friends or family had pursued this path), but to say that mindset work made it smoother, would be a huge understatement. Podcasts and personal development books because my new best friends! As they say, you are a product of the top 5 people you give your energy to…
It felt like a different me, as though I had finally discovered that inspired, “go-getter” version of myself I knew existed deep down. Did I mourn my previous self? Certainly not, but it was difficult at first to let go of that familiarity, of working on someone else’s terms and now making my own decisions. Being self-employed requires a new level of determination and focus that is crucial if you want to be successful (hello, procrastination). However, it felt amazing and totally worth the initially uncomfortable and slightly awkward transition.
How did I fully embrace my newly evolved state? By being a “yes” girl. Every time I met someone who I connected with, or a great idea appeared in my mind (usually when swimming) I would seek to pursue it. As if it was a message or sign from a higher energy that following these paths would lead me to something incredible. Since I have adopted this mindset, more and more opportunities have presented themselves.
My word for 2021 was “Action” and I do not think I could have chosen a more empowering or effective one for my rebirth.
Conclusion
I hope that this brief concoction of words has in some way resonated with you, or perhaps you now feel inspired to move forward in a way that you could not before. To summarise my thoughts in a few sentences, I will just say the following to you.
If you are going through a similar experience of death involving a previous version of you, do not mourn, celebrate it.
If you are about to go through a similar experience of death involving a previous version of you, do not fear, embrace it. View the process as an opportunity to try something different and evolve into an even better version of yourself.
In short, get busy living!
